Christopher “From The Office “And The Expensive French Wine

 

Hello – If you’ve been following the blog (no chance I know!) you will have an indication of Christopher, he happens to me by boss right now.

Last Christmas our division happened to receive an expensive hamper, filled with expensive booze and the usual chocks and cheese. Now Chris happened to be in the other division so he technically did not qualify for the goodies.

Now we all knew Chris had a thing for bottles, he’s been on a collecting spree for as long as I can remember. Matter of fact the first day he drove his vehicle (I happened to be a navigator again), both of us were shivering half way through ..he couldn’t drive for shit, let alone driving we had a time stopping the car at color lights..So I was very much surprised when I thought the goal was to get home w/out smashing the rearview mirror too may times, when the man pulls over (not literally we were pretty much still on the road) parks and asks me to pick up some bottles that a colleague had brought from a U.S trip!

Now that I have clarified how much these mean to the man, Let's go back to the story behind the bottles.We decided to switch the labels of an expensive looking French wine with a bottle of Vinegar cork and all.(Somebody ought to have told me the man was gonna be my boss someday!!)Removing the label was easy, finding a cork was not! After spending like most of the lunch break we managed to get that right..Now the easy part, walking up to Christopher I casually mentioned we had a Black and an expensive wine, I said I am taking the Black and no one else wanted wine.You guessed it, the man’s eyes lit up and he was already thinking of Christmas.

Off he went the day before we closed for X-mas with the wine bottle tucked in the lap top bag. What nice friends I am sure he was thinking.We could not wait, so we were disappointed when he did not turn up for work on the 28^th when we re-opened so we could hear how nice the wine was! Nor did he turn up on the 29^th or 30^th.The man was missing, finally turning up on the 1^st.

It seems that he was not sick, but the nephews were. Apparently the Chris clan give the lil boys spoonfuls of wine at X-mas!! They’d been purging for days and he wanted to know whether the wine was bad!!

Wasn’t me, wasn’t me.

To make up and most importantly now that he is my boss now, I did give the boss a nice bottle of Chivas a few months ago. What with the reviews coming up and all it was too much of a risk. Lol was kidding – No I got it free and besides I owed the man the bottle - to be fair.

 

Fancy bowling? anyone?

Well you see we have this annual bowling tournament we organize, my company supports thus to generate funds for a few charities we support. Now “the office”” has organized one and taken part in a few, however nothing won yet.

The weeks before the actual tournament's, generally a costly affair. The bowling team's hard at practice and everyone pretty much was topping 150, which was enough to demolish the oppostion.Here is a round-up of the partiscipants:

Sudu Mahattaya (no he aint an expat and he aint sudu) – Claimed from day one “on a good day he easily gets 180”, of course he was in the team and on the big day, No it was not one of his good days. Matter of fact I don’t think we have seen a good day at all.

Verdict: We are hopeful he doesn’t use up the “good day” on one of the next set of practice rounds before the next tournament.

Brother King: You should know him by now! Highly excited and disoriented on the day of the game, maybe the huge crowd tensed him up. You should have seen him on that night, all pumped up!

Verdict: Barely lived up to his practice session form, easily distracted.

Ice Manju: The man behind the whole scene organizes the practice sessions and is heavily involved in all things bowling. During practice the ice man’s in tremendous form. Knocking a single pin down is simply an effortless exercise for him. You should understand “Ice“ here is not meant to be taken as cool by anyway but simply due to the fact Manju boy is from the same area as the original ice Manju who got his ass whooped by the cops.

Verdict: Made the mistake of challenging Christopher’s clan for a bottle after loosing the tournament. Lost and we are still waiting for the Absolute bottle he promised.

End of the day we lost by three points, which was not all that bad. How bad depends on who you loose to as well, so trust me it was pretty bad!

But then the discrads in the B team were just 16 points behind. Hmmm..One thing is clear, bowling we have some hope, if you have read my previous post you will know the singin at the bowling alley was atrocious! We will probably have big M keeping good on his promise to deliver fetilizer at Rs 300 before we hear my collegues do a deascent number…cheers to that

 

The “Office” and the characters that make it an interestin place to work!

Hello – welcome to another day, I was thinking I would give you an insight into the unique and sometimes weird** individuals that share the place I spend most of my time (yep more than my home) the office. Surrounded by tons and tons of lingerie and Manequins a day at the office is something we all look fwd to, you will see why below:

**King Kong :Named aptly as he acts like one and in terms of body mass comes close, brother king is in NY now for the shoot for the sequel of the highly popular movie with the same name. Younger bro of big king, he is still learning the ropes of all things worldly. When anxious he does beat his chest and even the bowling alley recognizes the dude when he plays…rewarding every strike with a chest beating hairy animated species on the screen.

Verdict –Like the WWF wrestlers big, but harmless…

**VP: Well he is our version of Socrates,the great Greek philosopher. He used to be the one doing yoga in the middle of the office and getting into all sorts of mischief when everyone else was working. But one day almighty TC called him up and whispered something to his ear and lo and behold we had our own philosopher. The change was immediate…

I mean how do you answer Q’s like “ do snails fall in love”? You and I can’t but Mr. VP has an answer and I guarantee you that, you would have bought that before you left the Perera mansion. One of the pluses of having someone like this is, getting free counselling after office hours.

Of course I had my reservations before but then I found out he was happily married and had nothing to worry about. Thank fully they are generous hosts so I end up with a few Bacardi’s, Bombay Sapphires on the house and sufficiently enlightened. Now that’s counseling every office boss owes the subordinates! Although he thinks I only take the Alcho back I must say the man knows some shit..

Verdict : Still waiting to hear what TC said to enlighten him….

Rusco Aubucle: Takes the features and size from the 1920’s comedian and no was not involved in any scandals unlike the unfortunate American. This man should be commended by HR with a service award for keeping us all entertained!! his ability to think out of the box and the wise cracks are one of a kind…I am sure our boss will be having a chat anytime soon looking at possibilities of using the out of the box theory to work related stuff as well.

Verdict: Every office needs one and no we ain’t selling! Also takes credit for naming King Kong

Christopher : Hmmm, we had a little discussion the other day, he claims I am always late (now that’s partially true) and I claimed he is always sick (very true), so two days ago I offered to keep a diary with my clock-in time and his attendance.. and um he hasn’t been at work from yesterday. Smart – you guessed it, the boss is out sick!

Verdict: Every university needs him, afterall how often do you find anyone who had Denghi three times and survived?

** By weird the author means one of a kind in a postive way (appraisals are due this month! so this is a kind of a disclaimer no offence was intended-LOL)